A Formal Complaint To "God"

Dear God.

Please accept this letter as a formal notice of complaint on behalf of all humans including myself regarding the shocking and poor level of service and the complete contempt and disregard with which you continue to treat us with.

Thank you for sending your son to earth to die for our “sins”. As you are probably well aware by now we crucified him and basically hung him out to dry (apparently this was part of your grand plan).  I sincerely apologize on behalf of the rest mankind for the poor treatment that Jesus received at the hand of Pontius Pilate and his henchmen, this is clearly unacceptable behavior and had you sent Jesus to earth more recently I am sure he would have been treated much better. These days we are much more civilized (at least most of us try to be).

My first complaint;

1. Being the all-knowing all powerful God that we all believe you to be could you please tell us when Jesus is coming back? It’s well over two thousand years since he said he was going to prepare a place for us, and to be honest things are kind of getting out of hand now. I am sure you have noticed your children are being slaughtered in the middle east by a radical Islamic army who also claim to be your foot soldiers and to be doing your work. Seriously, if there is any time that we need “divine Intervention” it is now!
2. We need an explanation as to why parts of the bible were so poorly written. For example, in Genesis chapter 1:3-5, you created light and separated day from night on the first day. However, the sun and stars which produce light weren't created until the fourth day. Since the sun is what separates day from night, that separation couldn't have happened until the fourth day. So what happened on the first day? Clearly Moses, who wrote this book on your behalf didn’t understand where light comes from and he clearly didn't understand the role of the sun in our solar system. This is no excuse because you should have told him clearly! Since you know everything.
3. Why did you put the tree in the Garden of Eden when you clearly knew that the woman would be deceived by the very serpent you created?  In genesis 3:14 you punished the snake harshly for promoting the tree of “knowledge of Good and Evil” it doesn’t make sense why having this knowledge would be a problem? And if you knew it would a problem why didn’t you just decide not to put the tree in the garden in the first place. As a responsible parent I wouldn’t do that to my children I cannot for the life of me understand why you failed to protect Adam and eve from messing up when you clearly knew they would.
4. Why did you punish Adam and Eve and eventually the whole of mankind when at the time, they had no knowledge of good and evil so it was not possible for them to have comprehended that it was good to obey and evil to disobey? Thus they didn't comprehend that their disobedience was wrong in any way. This decision was clearly unfair and I need an explanation.
5. My next complaint is about the clarity of the rules you set out in the ten commandments. I am sorry but I am completely confused about commandment number 6. Thou shall not kill. We all know now that it is morally reprehensible to kill other human beings although sometimes as humans it can be difficult when someone takes the parking space you were clearly aiming for. Why did you command the Hebrews to kill their enemies, including in some shocking cases, women, children and even cattle? Why?
6. There is a clear debate that has been going on for centuries about your existence. I think it’s time you stepped out from the shadows and put the matter to rest. This would save countless lives and almost certainly guarantee that the streets of heaven will be heaving with believers on that morning after judgement day when we get to walk on streets of gold and live forever..etc..
7. Will we all be guaranteed some sort of legal representation on judgment day? I for one have not been a saint recently and I am sure I speak for many Christians who like me have stepped out of line even after being “saved”.

I hope you don’t take this letter personal God. I really want to continue to believe in you please help my unbelief.

My name is Alfy, and when I am not writing complaint letters to God, I am battling my team in India to make sure my customers websites are built to their exact requirements. You can contact me on my website www.alfyopare.com if you need a cool website at a reasonable price religious discounts are not available.

Kind regards

Alfy